Lesson 1: " What Is A Father?"
What is a Father?
Hello and welcome to Christian Family Mentor. The focus of what we do is to reunite God and his Creation, you and I. The Bible IS the Word of God. In it you will find all that God has promised to all of His children. Contained in the Word are all the tools you will need to grow in your walk with the Lord and all the tools you will need to raise your family in such a way that will be pleasing to God. Let’s get started! Fatherhood – a term that once was meant only for the biological father of a child. Today the meaning has changed. Today any man who takes on the responsibility of raising a child biological or not has entered into fatherhood. Father – Again we find here that the meaning has changed. A father was once defined as a man who had a biological child. Today a father is any man who again takes on the responsibility of raising a child including non-biological children. This can be through adoption, fostering, and marrying a woman who already has children. A father is a role model, what you do, what you say, and how you act in EVERY situation is being imprinted on the child’s brain. Children look up to fathers for everything! When they are scared the run to daddy for protection! When they are sick they will come to daddy for comfort to take away their pain and make them well. Children like to mimic fathers especially boys, they want to grow up just like daddy. If you were to look in a mirror and say to yourself; “I would be completely proud of my children if they grew up to be just like me” Could you honestly answer yes, or are there some things you would want them to avoid? If you could change yourself to be what you would want your children to be, how much work would you have to get there? Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Ephesians 6:4 “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” What this means is that you should not make your children angry, when they do something wrong you should respond to them as Jesus responds to us when we do something wrong. Forgive them, explain what it was they did and why it was wrong. Then pray with them. Now here is the tricky part that is a snare for many fathers. Many think that hitting their children will make them obey. Let me ask you this; if you were ever hit or beat did you obey with love and understanding? Or did you obey to avoid more beatings? A Father does not beat his child into submission! Jesus did not beat any of us into submission, He was sad at our sins but always continued to love us and was always there when we asked Him for forgiveness. Jesus is Love and as fathers we too should be about love. The positive part of Ephesians 6:4 is expressed in a comprehensive direction; educate them, bring them up, develop their conduct in their daily living by the instruction and admonition of the Lord. This is the whole process of educating and discipline. The word “admonition” carries the idea of reminding the child of faults (constructively) and duties (responsibilities). This is a father who is pleasing to God. This week work on praising your children for all the things they do that are good. It does not matter how small the deed praise them! At the end of the week take note as to how they have been acting. When children are praised often they begin to want to please their parents and will go out of their way to be pleasing. Remember if you want them to be Godly children you need to be a Godly father. Some simple steps to help you be a positive role model for your children this week. 1. Leave work at the front door before you walk in. Children do not need to hear about your day at work. They have a day they want to share with you! They were without you all day and had new experiences either at school or at home that they want to share. |
2. Pray! Before you enter the house, pray for an open heart and for understanding. You are no doubt tired from working all day and the last thing you want to do is hear your children bombard you with all sorts of childish things. Remember to you they may appear childish and irrelevant but to the child it could mean the world to them.
3. When you listen to them, give them your undivided attention! A child hates nothing more than dad not paying attention to them. Remember what you do and how you act they will follow. This is a good time to put those listening skills to work. You will be amazed that when you listen to your child when he or she speaks they too will begin to listen when you speak. 4. Show true empathy! If they had a bad day acknowledge how they are feeling and how they felt when something bad happened. I know at times we hear their bad day and want to chuckle because to them it was a big event but to you it may be something simple or funny. Try not to laugh, instead empathize with how they feel and offer positive suggestions for the next time that event happens. This is the foundation of building trust. If our children do not trust us as parents how will they ever see us as trustworthy? If they cannot trust us then they will never come to us when a true or tragic event occurs in their lives. 5. Encourage church and Sunday school. I know there are days even I am tired and would prefer to stay home and just rest, but I get up and go to Church anyway. If we are grumbling while we get ready for church what do you think our children will do? Next time they grumble when you ask them to do something, stop for a moment and ask yourself if you were grumbling too. 6. Build up your children and they will grow to have a good sense of self worth. Build up your wife. There will be a mentor segment on being a better husband and what God sees as a good husband along with the responsibilities of being a husband. But for the sake of being a good father, building up your wife to your children shows respect to your wife (their mother) and they too will respect her. If you treat your wife with little or no respect again you set the stage for your children to do the same. 7. Be prepared to mess it up! Do not get discouraged when you slip up and fall back into a bad habit pattern of behavior. Once you see that you have messed up, let your children know that what you did was wrong and ask for their forgiveness. When you ask them for forgiveness you teach them how to be forgiving! Just as Jesus forgives us of our sin when we confess it to Him and ask for forgiveness so too will your children forgive your bad mood or action. This will conclude this program on “What is a Father” write to us and let us know what you think. Did you follow the steps? What was the result? Did your children change any or act differently? Remember it will take more than a week to change life patterns that have been there for a long time. Keep working on them each week and change will occur. Continue to be faithful in going to Church and God will bless your life. In closing; if you were to die today where would you go? If you are unsure of your answer please click on the link above “The Way To Salvation” Read that page and at the end if you choose to accept Jesus as your Lord and personal Savior, there is a short prayer of salvation you can pray to be sure you are saved. If you chose to accept Jesus as your Savior send us an email as we would love to rejoice with you and your decision to follow Jesus. God Bless Pastor Michael |